This is a HealthLine Online content page created by Healthwise. HealthLine Online helps you make better decisions about your health.

Separation Anxiety: Helping Your Child

Overview

Separation anxiety (also called separation protest) usually starts around 9 months of age, peaks near 15 months of age, and starts to fade sometime before the third birthday. The intensity and duration of separation anxiety is affected by your child's temperament and by your personality and how you respond.

Here are some suggestions on how to deal, as well as possible, with these scenes:

  • Emotionally prepare yourself before you leave.

    If your child gets upset, act confident and stay calm even when you don't feel that way. Remember that separation anxiety is a normal aspect of your child's behaviour. In fact, it is a sign that your child has reached a new level of cognitive and emotional development. It is also evidence of your child's healthy attachment to you.

  • Set a routine before you leave.

    Examples include kissing mommy good-bye at the door, reading a short book, or saying good-bye to a favourite stuffed animal. It's best not to rush off or sneak out without saying good-bye. Babies learn to handle separation better and thereby gain more confidence if they know and are told it will occur.

  • Let your child get used to you leaving.

    When your child's separation anxiety behaviour becomes noticeable, plan ahead for times when you will be away. At first, make a few very short trips, such as going for a 20-minute walk. Gradually work your way up to longer separations.

  • Try to schedule departures after naps and eating.

    Also, try to stay with your baby as much as possible when your baby is not feeling well. Your baby will handle separations better when not tired, hungry, or sick.

  • Build bridges between home and daycare.

    For example, bring your child's favourite stuffed animal or blanket to daycare, if possible. Work with your caregiver to help your child feel less anxious when you leave. A caregiver can decrease your child's distress with loving comfort, offering brief reassurance that you will return, and quickly providing distractions of interest that will take the focus off of your departure.

  • Allow your baby to develop independence.

    For example, let your child play independently (while being supervised) and let your child gradually fall asleep on their own.

  • Play games like peekaboo.

    This may help your baby realize that people and things exist even when you can no longer see them. This is a skill called object permanence.

Credits

Current as of: October 24, 2023

Author: Ignite Healthwise, LLC Staff
Clinical Review Board
All Healthwise education is reviewed by a team that includes physicians, nurses, advanced practitioners, registered dieticians, and other healthcare professionals.

Current as of: October 24, 2023

Author: Ignite Healthwise, LLC Staff

Clinical Review Board
All Healthwise education is reviewed by a team that includes physicians, nurses, advanced practitioners, registered dieticians, and other healthcare professionals.

This information does not replace the advice of a doctor. Ignite Healthwise, LLC, disclaims any warranty or liability for your use of this information. Your use of this information means that you agree to the Terms of Use. Learn how we develop our content.

Contact Information

Contact the SHA

Contact us with General Inquiries or Feedback About Your Care, the SHA is here to help.

Help Information

Emergency

If you believe you have an emergency, dial 911.

Questions?

If you have questions about your health, dial 811 on your phone or visit HealthLine Online.